Life as a Mom... & a Photographer

So, when people hear that I'm a photographer one of the first things they say is, "That must be so nice! You get to set your own schedule & be there for your family!" Yes, setting my own schedule is amazing. I wouldn't change it for the world. But think of this, when you're eating dinner with your family, I'm out at a session. When you're taking that impromptu weekend getaway, I'm photographing a wedding celebration. I LOVE my job. I mean LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. I enjoy making others smile & capturing memories for families. Getting to witness that first moment a groom sees his bride & tears come to his eyes. I get to photograph DAY old babies people. I mean only DAYS old!! Who wouldn't eat that up?!? I wouldn't change it for the world. BUT when a day like today comes along, & I have a cancellation, batteries are all charged up and I'm packed & ready to go...what do I do? I certainly don't let it go to waste. I am a mom. :) I grab that kid up and take him to somewhere pretty!

Photographing the child of a photographer comes with it's own set of challenges & rules. Believe me, I'm right. You see, they're used to a camera being in their face & they've lost interest in it. They could simply give a crap less & are usually a whine fest when mom (or dad) wants to try something new. A new location, a new lens, BUT I bought this outfit especially for this session!!! (You know you've all done it...) For the last 2 years, getting #CmanMySweetBoy to look into the lens has been like pulling teeth. I've tried it all with him, looking like a moron, making crazy noises, that stupid scrunchie character at the end of my lens...oh the list goes on... Now, he's 4. It's a whole new ballgame folks. Starting today.

Or, maybe I just got lucky. Today started out with him waking up early, and drinking half of the coffee in my mug. I was trying to get all our stuff packed because we leave for Orlando, Florida in 2 days. I was due to have a session tonight & a wedding tomorrow. So, we're talking crunch time. He was pretty much free to play with his toys to his heart's content. (The choice today was his playmobil RV & legos.) When I said, "HEY! Let's go take some pictures!" He said, "OK! But, will it be fun?"

Apparently, it was.

 



Well, except maybe that last one, but we were practicing his "straight-faced smolder..."

Some of you may not know, but I lost my grandfather about a year and a half ago to lung cancer. Cancer is a horrible thing that rips families apart & they really need to find a cure, that's all I'm saying in this post, I'll save that one for a post on it's own. ANYHOW, among his things was an old camera. An old Samoca 35mm. My Grandma wasn't sure what to do with it. She figured it wasn't worth much (about $50 on e-bay), but thought I might like to have it, or that I would know what to do with it. I've hung onto it. I wasn't sure why at first, I had intentions to talk to a few museums & see if they may want it. But then I got thinking, I don't have much of my grandfathers. So, to me this felt special. (Thanks Grandma Bobbie!) To be able to hold something he held. He was an amazing musician, which I'm not, so it is a way I feel like I can still connect with him. I will probably keep it forever. Today, we used it as a prop. Because afterall, it was his 'Grape Poppa's" camera. I can not tell you how much the following photos mean to me. Not only that my kid seems to be developing a love for something that means so much to me (photography) but to see him holding a camera that belonged to my Pop-Pop. I'll cherish these ones always....

Seriously, right?? He's growing up too quickly & I may be biased, but is probably one of the cutest kids I've ever seen...

& one more of a new processing I'm trying out...

Got the smolder look a bit better the second time around... I'm not usually one to over edit like this, but I'm kind of diggin' it! At least for a shot like this :)

Until next moment, hug someone you love & squeeze your babies tight, they grow up too quickly!

a day at the beach with my boy

Took little man to the beach the other day just so he could blow off some "end of summer" steam. In all fairness, he's not returning to school this year due to everything going on with my mom, but summer is still technically coming to an end.

It was a VERY good day :) Fun was had by all. He got to swim a bit & I got to relax in the sun without having to worry about keeping him occupied & out of trouble.

Something moms of boys will know is not an easy task!

Then, this couple came to the beach, she is pregnant & they have one little girl with them & dad is in a wheelchair. At first I kept thinking, oiy, this is not going to end well. (I used to work at an MR/DD facility & know wheelchair+sand=not a good mix.) But, surprisingly, she got him down to where the water was. Then, something amazing happened, he got out of his chair. :) With her help of course. Sometimes I'm amazed at the love between two people. It always a good thing to see. And this might be me being *that* type of person, but it touched me. In a very good way. So, of course being who I am, I photographed it. Without their knowledge. So, if you know these people, please, let them know that their love for each other touched me :)

So, I guess the thought is, miracles happen every day. And moments like this really DO happen in real life. :D

My "Transformation"

"Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly."

~Epictetus

 

 

 

Hi! Yup, that's me.

 

. . . Or is it? . . .

 

     I know many of you are here because you saw my post on facebook the other day about a transformation. :) So, welcome! But this was so much more than a typical "makeover". It was about me facing myself.

 

     Posting the photo of myself, out there for everyone to see, without my adorable son to distract the eye, was a very difficult thing for me to do. As a photographer (Blue Martini Photography), it has become very easy for me to stay behind the camera. I didn't used to be like that. Not that I jumped in front of every lens that I got the chance to but I certainly didn't avoid them like I do now. So that got me thinking....

 

 

Why am I like that??

 

     In all honesty, "color/lighting check" time is my least favorite thing about second shooting weddings. (Sorry Christin.) I normally make stupid faces, and strange poses just to get myself through it. I try to even avoid being in the background of shots and cringe when I see that I've snuck into a few photos. 

 

     Somewhere in the last 10 years I began to hate to have my photo taken. Why? It took me a long time to figure it out. And here it is folks. Straight from me to you. It's not the photo I hated, it's more myself. I stopped caring. Yup, I said it. With falling in love, and marrying the man of my dreams, then giving birth to this absolutely wonderful little life. I stopped caring about myself. Crazy right? Many of us are taught from a very young age, and myself included, "you must love yourself before you can love anyone else."

 

     I can not be alone in this. I *know* there are more of you out there. Once upon a time, I hadn't a care in the world & I completely spoiled myself. I loved myself, and showered myself with gifts and trips. Basically I was the best boyfriend I ever had. (That came out all wrong, but I'm hoping you get the point.) This is when I was at my most confident, because I felt loved (in the kind of way that can't be given by anyone but yourself). Then, I began putting others before myself. One by one. And slowly I was bumped down on my own list of priorities. It's life, it happens. Well, I'm putting a stop to it.

 

     Many people will not agree with me, and many people will want to argue. But I'm saying from now on, I'm going to start making myself a priority. Yes, I'm a wife. Yes, I'm a mother. These are roles that I hold near and dear to my heart. But, my son will someday grow up and leave the house. My husband may die before me. If I let things go now, I just may really not like the person I see in the mirror. At that point, it may be too late.

 

     I joined a gym this year. I am there 5 days a week for a little over an hour. I plan to go two times a day eventually. I decided that since I didn't like what I saw, I was going to meet with a personal trainer and change it. I'm the only one who has this control. I have signed up for a 5K. This is something I NEVER thought I would do. I'm not a runner. Trust me, I'm not. But I did it anyway. I find myself making better choices in general. Then, the unexpected happened. . .

 

    

     I had a wonderful opportunity given to me. I had a planning meeting the other night with Tiffany Noel Taylor (Mary Kay Cosmetics Director) and Kevin Charles (Kevin Charles Productions) for a future project we are working on together. Afterwards, we were talking about hair, and fashion in general and I shared with them a hair style on Pinterest that I had pinned that I really liked. I said, "I love this but I know I could never pull it off." Kevin disagreed, and informed me he was going to bring me into his salon and do my hair. I was immediately stunned, then shocked, then a little overwhelmed, scared, and finally, EXCITED! (All of these emotions happened in a matter of about 5 seconds.) I really and truly didn't know what to expect, but we set the appointment up for the following day.

     We had discussed doing before and after shots. So, that is exactly what I did. And I posted the "before" photo of myself to facebook. (The same one posted directly above.)

     I was almost a half hour early for my appointment. I sat in the car looking in the windows of the salon, watching other people. They all looked so happy. I had butterflies in my stomach like I was flying out to Disney World the next morning, or maybe it was sky diving?

    I finally decided it was close enough to my appointment time to walk into the salon. Being that I had never really had a "high end" salon experience, I had no idea what to expect. I was instantly greeted, given a smock to cover my clothes and directed to an area where I could wait. I was asked if there was anything they could get me. Vodka? Tranquilizer darts?

     Kelly came and got me, if you haven't met Kelly, she's wonderful. She smiled, and was friendly, and directed me to her chair, where I proceeded to show her my Pinterest photo. I was afraid of her reaction. She surprised me when she said that she loved it and was so excited to get started. I was instantly eased. I'm not sure how it happened, but I found myself relaxing. Here is a reminder of what I looked like before:

     The poor girl began to foil my hair. She foiled for over an hour. (I have a lot of hair.) We waited for that to process, she informed me that this was just the "in between step".  Then came the scary part.

     The permanent color.

     As it processed, I was sitting in front of a mirror watching the formula change the color of my hair drastically. It was invigorating and terrifying all at the same time.

     After the color was rinsed out and I was towel dried, I was handed into Kevin's capable hands. I glanced in the mirror. I had almost a solid 5 minutes of panic. I was a changed person. Kevin began to cut, and as he did, I grew less and less afraid of the final outcome. When he was finished, I looked fabulous. I had never seen myself look like that before, EVER! So, alas, here is the photo you all have been waiting for. The "after" hair shot.

Now, this is me.

  

     It is absolutely insane, and I would have never believed it had I not gone through it myself, but a hair STYLE can completely change the way you view yourself. So, THANK YOU KEVIN from the bottom of my heart (and the top and middle too). You have taken me somewhere I would have never been able to get on my own.

 

     My transformation is not finished. Not only do I have more hours to clock in a the gym, but Tiffany is going to create a new "face look" for me. Which of course I will share with you as well.

     So, I guess the moral of my story is, that no matter what roles you play on a day to day basis, don't forget to make sure to take time for yourself. It doesn't have to be as extreme as my experience, but I'm going to start doing something just for me every day.

 

     I am a very lucky girl, and 2013, you ARE going to be MY year.

 

Fashion is architecture: it is a matter of proportions.

~Coco Chanel